A Recent Confrontation

Hello all. Remember my post about my friends' summer romance in which I felt used? Well, if you do this should clear somethings up. We're not necessarily on speaking terms at this moment, and, at this point, I really don't want to be. Honestly, I think I'm done with a lot of people this year. Her comment made me realize that I really don't want to fix things between us. Part of me thinks it's because I may be leaving this God forsaken state at the end of the year, and the other part of me thinks I don't want to hang out with her because she makes my insecurities take center stage. I'm sorry, Kayla. I really am. But if you want to attack me via the internet about something I finally got over, do it. I'm not jealous of you, by the way. I hope you know that I really am happy for you. But I'm done trying to make other people happy. I only told people how I feel. Is that a crime now? To get things off my chest? Because last I checked, I don't have to tell anyone everything. And as for the psychological onslaught, that's not cool. If you're that in tune with my emotions, you would've caught that I haven't been myself for a very long time. I'll fix things when I want to fix things even if I still want to fix things. You can keep Jenna, by the way. She just makes fun of me, and I've told her that. As of late, I've been numb. And don't even bitch about how Lance made me feel better. He just listened as I told him back in the summer how I've been feeling. It's not my fault that I felt betrayed. And trust me, being one-sided when you feel hurt is normal. I'll apologize when I feel like it's necessary. But I'm done being the first one to instigate a conversation. And you still have EVERYONE, NOT just Jenna. You've got Dennis, Micki, Ty, Alec and so many other people. So please, don't try to pull that card. Anyways, see you at the party.

~Priscilla

From here on out...

Well, dear readers, from here on out, I'm going to be making my blog "A Series of Related Things." I'll be posting a story that I'm working on and each time you read a new post, you'll be following the life of Izzy Rivera. I'm going to finish chapter one by tomorrow evening and have it posted. Check it ;)
Hasta!
Pixi ♥

My Eyes Burn.

My eyes burn with tears that I wish I could let loose. The thing is, I only cry to help me get what I want. I save the emotions for acting. Acting. That's my problem. I want to be an actress someday, and I know I can make it. The only thing holding me back? I don't have a ride to casting calls due to my mother's annoyance. I auditioned in Philly, and the people there were trying to send us to Florida to meet agents. I never got the scores back, and my mom was pissed. I understand that they didn't call back, but not everything in the world is a scam. I'm hurt beyond compare that she won't help me out. She took me to the one casting call that was a scam out of the many that I've been eligible for. In a sense, I feel betrayed, but I know I'm reacting like a child. It's like I'm throwing a hissy fit when I just want to take the opportunity to go places. When you've lived in various parts of the country, you get insanely bored of one place after eight years. I just want to take the initiative to take the first steps out of this state. I have no reason to cry, other than the fact that my dreams are slowly being shattered. I wasn't hurt by not getting a callback, but my mother was furious. Okay, one acting company never called back, so what? Prove that I'm done and get over the acting bug? Not until hell freezes over will that be possible. I'm going to just keep begging her to take me. Once I get my license, I'm going to drive to every single casting call. With or without my mother. My passion for acting is what's going to get me disowned. I know it. Damn, I sound like an under achieving Asian kid with the stereotypical Asian stereotype parents. Oh well.  I guess my eyes'll burn a little longer because I refuse to let anyone see me cry. Crying is for the week, and it lets people know that they hurt you. I'm never giving anyone that satisfaction again. No one deserves to be a jerk and get away with making someone cry. Friggin' teen angst can S my neighbor's D. Grrr.
Later
~Pixi♥

And He's Gone Again

"Who is he?" you may be wondering. "He" happens to be my father. You see, my dad is in the military, therefore, we move a lot. This time, he's going to a different state -by himself. He left my family for a year for work in Japan, and now the military is sending him away for schooling. It feels like a mix of emotions brawling in my brain. It's like, I'm proud that he's going, but mad that they're taking him, happy that he's going, but sad that he's leaving. Does that make sense? To me, it does, and maybe to other Military brats, too. It's a sacrifice he has to make to keep my family in one state. Maybe, I'm just bitter. I know he'll be okay, and I'll be able to see him every weekend, but it hurts ya know? Cause it's really not like he's got a choice. My father is truly an awesome person. For now, I'll just continue to feed my dog things that would drive my older brother crazy. Appreciate the fathers and father figures in your life, okay? 

Te amo! ♥

~Pixi

Ps. dogs help heal wounds.

The Weirdest Party Ever

Dear Reader,
       If you ever get bored at a party, please don't do what I did....
What I did was I chugged a bottle of water and started catching flies on the table of my brother's girlfriend's house. It was entertaining because I was insanely bored. Don't do it. Or you'll get weird looks...trust me  :)
Hasta luego!
~Pixi

Dear Universe

Dear Universe,
        What do you have against teenagers? Cause legitimately, it seems as though you want all of us to crash and burn? What's up with that?
Sincerely,
    Miss Pixi


♫♪☼►◄↕‼☺◙♀♂♪☼►§¶▬↨↑↓→←∟↔
Do you ever have those days when you feel like your whole world is crashing down around you? I do, and I hate them. They make me feel like a child again, confused and naive. :/ Vulnerable, almost. It makes me want to curl up and just cry, but I'm no longer able to cry. I hate these nights when all I want to do is sleep, but I'm stuck with all these questions floating around in my head and trying to get answers. Instead, I look up at the stars or just lay in the dark wishing my mind would stay quiet for once. 

ROAR. I've been used like a tissue

ROAR.
Decided that I'd start this post with my anger. "Pixi, what(besides friggin bitches), are you mad at today?" Well, dear reader, recently a little predicament has reared its ugly head into my life. 
Cast of today's rant:
Boyfriend: Drummer Boy
Girlfriend: Beach Girl
Blonde friend: Blondie


As of yesterday, two of my very close friends started officially going by "boyfriend and girlfriend." Nothing wrong with that. The problem is, I was being used for a good chunk of the time. I don't know if either of them see it like that, but, if you look at the situation from an outside point of view, I was. She'd always text me to hang out and would bring my loveable blonde friend with her. Turns out, she got all my boys (minus a couple of 'em), outside. But she's not the only guilty one. The boyfriend is the one who called and asked if I wanted to hang out. Thinking I was going to get my ass kicked in a hilarious round of COD, I said yes. Then mah blondie texted and said that she and Beach Girl were gonna head down. I was still insanely drowsy due to an insomniac rant from the night before. I wasn't sounding as enthusiastic as I really was cause I really genuinely love my friends, but they were coming so I was all smiles. So I blew off drummer boy for like an hour till my girls showed up, and then we headed out to find all the neighbors. For a while, it was fun. But you could feel that something just wasn't right. By the time beach girl and blondie had to leave, Drummer Boy coyly lured Beach Girl into his garage and asked her out. Of course she said yes. Now don't get me wrong, it's not the whole dating thing that bothers me. I knew that he was going to ask her, all the neighborhood kids did. What pisses me off is that I'm looking back at all the times that Beach Girl came over without blondie to hang out with me, was she really wanting to hang out with me? Or did she just like the prospect of possibly getting to see drummer boy? I feel used. I feel used like a friggin' tissue. The worst part? I'm not gonna tell either of them how I feel. No reason to rain on their parade. It's just, I feel hurt ya know? Like there's a reason to this hurt that I just can't seem to figure out. The kind that just makes you want to cry, but crying isn't my thing. I'm just trying to make sense of all the things swirling in my head. I wish I knew how to say this without sounding like the thing I hate the most: bitches. I know I'm acting like one in a sense, but, I guess, this is just too much too handle. A direct quote from the conversation I'm currently having with Lance Uppercut..."Because friggin' Beach Girl comes over to see Drummer boy. Like, really, I feel as though that's crossing a line. I understand that they like each other, but seriously. He could've asked her out when they had their date. NOT when they were hanging with friends, then tried to play coy." EVEN I KNOW I SOUND LIKE A BITCH. It's just...URGH. I hate this feeling. I'm happy for them, I truly am. I think I just feel used. Oh well, Lance Uppercut is doing a fantastic job of being a good guy friend and making me laugh :) At least I have realiable people. Anyways, thanks for reading. Comments aren't manditory, but much appreciated. 
Hasta la vista los bonitos chicos y las bonitas chicas ;)
~Pixi♥

Bitches: Everyone Knows (Part two)

Alright, so here comes the topic again. BITCHES. Gawd, I hate them. I'm not the only one who hates them...today, my post is written by my friend Broomer(he knows my buddy lance uppercut...) Is going to post his feelings about Bitches....
Broomer: Yeah, aight so here I go. Bitches are the things (yes I said things) that you hear at the mall, at school, at the pool, and everywhere else possible where you hear them bitch about their boyfriends, phones, cliques, or whatvever the hell comes to your mind (get creative). The way they talk is so fucking annoying, it makes you (well me to be specific) want to take a cow brander thing/red hot pocker, and shove it up my ass/through my ears (sometimes, at the same time). Sometimes, it's funny when they bitch 'cause they're bitchin' at someone else, and they'll be cheered on because they do such a fantabulous(Pixi: lawls! I got to help pick the word!) job. And sometimes, when they bitch at you, it's like the tables turn, and you feel like shit. For example: there was this girl I dated who thought she was better than everyone else, meaning, she can't be made fun of. Ex., if she says a racist thing to you, you can't retaliate with a sarcastic comment because she's overly sensitive about EVERYTHING. So, she dumped me because she thought that I was being a dick, when in reality, she's the biggest dick of them all. Bitch drove me insane, and I'm glad she dumped me. I've never spoken to her again since, thank God. But the worst bitches of them all iiiiiiisssssss: Preps. It's by preps, I mean the girls who strut around in Hollister shit and flaunt their Abercrombie and Bitch. (Sometimes, they have nice asses, but most of the time they bitch at you for looking when THEY chose the clothes. Fucking teases.) Usually, these girls have the highest pitched voices and try to look like Snooki. Maybe they've got the hangover attitudes and oompah loompah tans to prove it. (Pixi:...I love Snooki...cause she's short like me D: )That, and they'll do anything for senior dick. (Pixi: BTDUBBS, if a sophmore is asked to prom, it's usually because "the seniors want to get laid", as said by my favorite senior himself) Last, but not least, (Well, this is the good part of this little rant) there's the nice bitches. The people who bitch at other bitches. (Pixi: I'M THAT KINDA GIRL) IF you befriend these bitches, consider yourself lucky. They can get other bitches off your back in a matter of a few words they say. So, what have we learned today? Keep the good bitches around you, and the ignore the bad ones...or hit them with a pimp hand :) Lawls! From the infamous Broomer, soon to be his own blogging prodigy. PS. Hos are better than bitches, cause they just don't care.
Hasta la vista lovelies!
~Pixi and Broomer

Awesome Music :) and Crazy Neighbors XD

Well, today's topic is: MUSIC UNHEARD OF. Well, some of you have probably heard of it, but others haven't...anywhos!...

LIGHTS(Valerie Anne Poxleitner)-I'm in love with her sound. It's so adorable, and her music is totally kick ass :) She's not the kind of shit you here on the American Top 40; she's real. Her sound is different from what we're used to hearing, like the auto tuned entity that is the radio(But I do love Ke$ha...I won't lie). By the way, her real name is now LIGHTS, she got it legally changed I hear. Check her out on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AU9-TRVbhkE She's really good! :) Or check out her collab. with Owl City:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUShnm_KRWY (There's no video...)

He is We(Rachel Taylor, Trevor Kelly, Aaron Campbell, Carman Kubanda, and Harrison Allen)
So most people will associate this band with MTV's The Real World. Now personally, I believe the Real World is a shit load of fail. BUT ANYWAYS. He is We is the most original group I've ever heard. Their music is so real, and Rachel Taylor kills it with her awesome vocals.  Check them out on Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/heiswe

Cady Groves-She's just awesome. DO NOT COMPARE HER TO TAYLOR SWIFT. She's completely original. I'm sort of in love her...in a totally healthy way...maybe....:) She's an absolutely awesome person. She's one of those people where we love her and wish she were more famous, but then again we still want her to stay where she's at. It's kinda selfish X) but here's some of her videos........ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tBZ0wgYIq8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCYE72oNckM&feature=related

Now for the part about crazy neighbors...well as we know, the 4th of July has passed here for us Americans. Unfortunately, it wasn't all fine and dandy. In my neighborhood, 3 houses were graffitied. One with a penis in the lawn, one with "Happy 4th :)" and mine had "White Power! F*** Niggers." Honestly. What the hell is wrong with people? IT WAS ON MY NEIGHBORS LAWN. He was nice enough to mow it, which was nice, but in the end, it only hurt the investigation on who did it. We all have a hunch we know who did it, but we have no evidence. Oh well. So all my neighbors, all of whom are of the male persuasion, have invaded my house this lovely Wednesday. They're weird enough to reminisce about middle school like, girls they've dated, people they've hated and clubs and such. It's only appropriate to say that I feel absolutely awkward in all the midst of this because I can't remember a single thing about middle school. That, and they've been perverted IN FRONT OF MY MOTHER. Insanely awkward. but I find it kind of mean that they pick on some of the people that I hang out with. They call one of my friends "Herpes." She's one of the sweetest girls I know! But because i'm younger than them, and a great deal shorter( All of them are above 5'5'', I'm only 5'0'' and done growing.) they don't listen to me. :( Kind of disrespectful. But I love these guys to death. They've made so many sex jokes that my mother doesn't understand,AND they've successfully passed the nervous game. They proceed to smack each others' asses and sit on one another. It's so hilarious. :) But anyways, I'll let ya'll go. Stay beautiful doll! :)
Hasta luego!
~ ♥ Pixi

Bitches: Everyone Knows

Bitches. Everyone knows what I'm talking about. We've all dealt with a bitch at some point or another. She can be the pretty bitch that just uses people and her looks to gain what she wants, or the ugly bitch that gets pissed off simply because you're prettier than she is. How do you deal with bitches? I truly want to know. Wanna know my favorite bitches? Mall bitches. Thanks to the Whitest Kids You Know, I'm in love with bitches you see at the mall, simply because they give death glares just because you walk into the store they planned on walking into. :) They never fail to put a smile on my face. My least favorite bitch? The ones who are always throwing bitch fits, ranting and raving about how their life "sucks." I dislike them(hates too strong a word) because all they do is bring people down. Like honestly, just mellow out and go with the flow. Life is too short to be pissy all the time. Don't let bitches bring you down 'cause they're not worth recognition like that :) Anyways, I have to go brain storm better blog ideas and chug some green tea(caffinated of course!) 

Ciao!

~Pixi

Sun Burn

So you know that song Sunburn  by Owl City? Well, I got sunburn. From trying to look super cute on the tennis court. It's like irony just decided to bite me on the ass. Cause as those fine looking men played tennis, I was getting burned. All over my face. It was kind of interesting, considering I've only ever gotten burned 2x. My friend's sunburn is all over her back. It's slightly repulsive. :) So, my 34 readers, I'm curious. What would you like to hear in my blog/rant? Because, quite frankly, this has been a pretty angry set of posts. But, I think angry rants have been my style. I feel as though it can get insanely boring after a while. I need to study for finals right now, so, PLEASE post a comment? Okay? Later!
XO
  ~Pixi

As the Summer Nears Closer...

I guess the title explains a little part of it. As the summer nears closer, we're all gonna be making a whole new series of decisions. Which parties do we go to? Beach trip or road trip? Will this finally be the year you buy that bikini? Just be smart, okay? Summer flings?!?!?! Well, just have fun. That's my advice to you. Do some crazy stuff, but not crazy enough to get you in legal trouble. In other words, don't go Jersey Shore on the world, m-kay? :) Because I have this feeling, that this is going to be a life changing summer. That something new and exciting is going to happen. Schools almost out. It's gonna be SO awesome. Let the drama of the school year go. Use the summer to detox all the bad energy. Avoid the people who only bring you down! Because this is your summer. This is your time to re-invent yourself. So go out there, and conquer the world, because you CAN do it. :)
Later.

Pixi <3

Something a Little Happier...

So this is being posted cause my good ol' friend Lance Uppercut (youknowjewfro.blogspot.com-follow him. he's kind of awesome.) told me I was too depressing. I swear it's not my fault I'm depressing. I'm just slightly biased to the letting the dark side of things be exposed. SO today. I'm going to look at something brighter. The correct way to handle a break-up. Those of you reading this may be looking at the screen and thinking "What the hell is she talking about? How are break-ups happy?" Well, my dear readers, you have to handle it properly. As so:
Day 1: cry. All the time. And eat ice cream and watch bad romance movies in sweatpants. Share the misery, but don't bug your friends too much. They'll get pissed and forbid you from dating.
Day 2: anger. Be angry. Rant and rave and round house kick whoever even LOOKS at you the wrong way. It'll relieve your anger AND you can get a good laugh.
Day 3: Re-Cooperation. Get your act together you weirdo. Jeez, by now, people may think you're bipolar. Go out with your friends, flirt like crazy, and guh dummit, enjoy yourself! No one is worth your tears...unless the relationship has been going on for a decent amount of time...like 6 months plus. That's an okay time to cry.
So this plan is super simple. 3 days, and you can recover. Though the anger stage may be extended to the maximum of 4 days. Hope no one ever has a break up that's bad enough to the point where they have to use this plan, just saying X)

-Pixi
P.S. Lance Uppercut, yellow car. Know that. YELLOW.CAR.

What Don't People Understand?

Racism and Intolerance. The aforementioned things are pointless.

Racism: discrimination. What's the point? "Oh, her skin is darker/lighter than mine. Therefore, she must be useless and stupid." or "He's the wrong religion. He's ignorant." What possesses people to say this? Since when does color of skin or your religion define who people are? It's so wrong to let racism get in the way of meeting so many great people! As a kid of the upcoming generation, I'm on a mission to prove to people that the artificial stuff doesn't always matter. I'm not gonna change everyone, but I'm sure as hell gonna try to make the impact.

Intolerance: unwillingness to respect differences. I'm pretty sure we all know what I'm talking about. When people decide it's okay to just rag on people because we're "different." I'm just as different as the next kid; however, you, me, that weirdo in your class that picks his nose and eats it too, and that snotty girl you just can NOT stand, we're all similar. We're all people, we all have emotions, we all want to feel needed and feel like we belong. But what happens when everyone around us puts us down non-stop? We hide who we are from the world. An individual is killed, and a clone is born. It's like a giant masquerade, and, at midnight, we get to remove our masks. But midnight is never coming. Heartless. That's what this is. It's not fair to anyone to have to hide who they are. Whether you're hiding religion, sexuality, who your family is, etc. etc., know that someone is going to accept you! You're a lovely individual with a lot to offer the world. 

Let your light shine people. Don't let anyone say anything to kill your joy. 

Til next time,

                      Pixi

Things I Have Learned.

There are things I have learned in my oh, around 15yrs of life. And I give you rights to learn them. Maybe I'm old beyond my ears, who knows? But, if you're still paying attention, maybe you'll take this with you...

1.) Boys are dumb. They will always be dumb and it's kinda funny because we can't help but fall in love with 'em at some point.

2.) If people don't like you for who you are, know that no matter what, someone is going to love you to death if you give them the chance.

3.) It's really OK to have that good cry every once in a while, even if you don't have a real reason.

4.) Being shy is totally fine. It just means you're very guided in who you'll let see your heart.

5.) Dancing to the music inside your head? Dance like no one's watching and you'll usually always be stress free.

6.) Relationships can be very complicated just simply because it's high school. Where any good drama or gossip topic will spread like wild fire.

7.) When someone uses profanities, you don't sound "tough" or "cool", you sound rude.

8.) "That's so GAY!"...no sweetheart, there are 2 things in which gay applies: legitimate gay people and happy people. Both types are usually nice people.

9.) Intolerance, for any thing, person, race, or religion, is stupid. Why waste your time hating people? It's too much energy. Forgive, but never forget.

10.) Don't let anyone bring you down. No matter who they are, what they say, or how much they try to hurt you, you're awesome. Please know that.